Recently my youngest daughter and I had a conversation about what she wanted to be when she grew up.
I found myself thinking back to what I had dreamt about when I was younger and found myself feeling lost and a little bit sorry for myself. My first memory of deciding my future was around seven years old. I had just begun ballet lessons and I was convinced I needed to be a prima ballerina. My ballet lessons ended before high school when I decided ballet wasn't cool anymore.
After that I was sure I wanted to be a lawyer, I was a big fan of Ally McBeal you see. And it wasn't that I had a desire to champion legal causes for the greater good of society and help those in need- I liked that Ally (Calista Flockhart) rocked a mini skirt, she was a super bad ass in the court room and after every working day, Ally and her entourage hit the bar and sang karaoke (it made total sense at the time).
So I reasoned with myself and thought that the more sensible route would be to become a Britney Spears back up dancer (as you can see I was completely reasonable!)
Normally my sweet girl talks to me about her desire to become a doctor. Doc McStuffin (you Mamas out there will know all about her) is her hero, and as a Mama I couldn't be more proud. I must admit, I frequently day dream about introducing my daughter, Doctor Lana and feeling smug as I emphasize the Doctor part.
On this particular day however, Lana told me that what she wanted most was to be a Mama.... just like me (queue the tears). Here I was thinking I had missed out on greatness because I hadn't fulfilled my life wishes and here Lana was, showing me that my greatest role is the one I am living right now- being a Mama to her and her sisters. I know that her desires will change again and again over time, but in this moment my heart melted because it took a four year old to show me not to mourn what we think we have lost! But to celebrate all that we currently have. Happy Mothers Day to all the beautiful Mama's out there xx